Wednesday, 31 January 2018
As most of you know today is #BELLLETSTALK Day. A day created by BELL in 2010 to promote conversations about mental health. Unfortunately there is still a stigma attached to mental health. Especially in the black community. Some are afraid of offending the person, some are just uneducated. Regardless, it needs to be discussed. Here’s some stats: -Every year, almost one million people die from suicide (Worldwide). -There is one suicide death every 40 seconds. -Among those aged 15-44 suicide ranks in the top 3 causes of death. -In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% (Worldwide). -Suicide accounts for more loss of life in the world than the total number of deaths from war, acts of terrorism and homicide combined. You read that right. Now that I have your attention, I’ll tell you my story.. Before CJ Was Born I have always been quiet about my struggle with my mental health. I by no means had a hard life. I have been through a lot though. Especially in the last 2 years. Let’s bring you back to March 2016. I just find out I’m pregnant. My mind is everywhere. I’m turning 23 and the man I was with since I was 18 wants nothing to do with me or my unborn child. I’m told many disgusting and hurtful things. I knew what my choice was from the beginning and I prepared myself to be a single mother. Little did I know what the next 9 months had in store for me. I’m still working, saving for my baby. My days off I would bring my Dad to his chemotherapy appointments. Other days I would visit him in his long-term care home. I would bring food and we would just talk for hours. I learned so much from him in only a couple of months. He relived his whole life, his visits to Italy and Morocco and other West Indian countries. He was partially blind at this time so his words painted a picture for me. These conversations really helped me cope with his death in September 2016. I was 7 months pregnant at this point. It was the hardest day of my life. A couple days later my Mom gets news that my God Mother had a heart attack while on vacation and died. At this point I really don’t know how much more I can take. A few days later my sweet Princess (Childhood pet) who I had for 15 years passes away. I am broken at this point. With less than 8 weeks left I continued to stay strong. November 29 2016 at 8:49 am my precious son was born. Unfortunately I did have some complications during labor. He was born with the umbilical cord around his neck and wasn’t breathing. It took the nurses some time to let me hold my son. When I did get to hold him it was the most amazing feeling. We made it!! I created this beautiful human being. It was and will always be the proudest day of my life. After CJ Was Born. To be brutally honest, the first couple of weeks of motherhood was a blur. My eyes were dark from the lack of sleep, I was gaining weight and I wasn’t producing enough milk for CJ. On top of that the relationship with his father wasn’t healthy. I was constantly put down, called names and argued with. I didn’t ask for anything from his father because I knew from the beginning I was doing this on my own. I handled my business and continued to try to be the best mother to my newborn. After weeks of eating excessively , crying and severe mood swings I knew I had to do something. I researched symptoms of postpartum depression and I quickly realized I had it. I wasn’t myself. I wanted to bond with my baby but I couldn’t. It was the most hurtful feeling. I carried this tiny human inside of me for 9 months and I can’t love him the way I want. I realized it was because I didn’t love myself at the time. I was disappointed in how my life was going and that my son wouldn’t know his father. It took a lot of praying, self reflecting, self healing and self motivating to help me get to this point in my life. Christian’s first year and everything I conquered with him inside of me was for a reason. It was to shape me into a better version of myself. A Mother, his Mother. I’m happy I could tell my story on January 31st 2018 about how I conquered postpartum depression. Tomorrow someone won’t be able to tell their story. Listen to your family and friends. Special thanks to my amazing support system. My Mom & Family. Thank you all, I love you.
Sunday, 14 May 2017
May 14th 2017 My first Mother's day. As I sit on my bed breastfeeding CJ, I think. I think about the past year & everything I went through to get where I am. When I was younger I always imagined dating for a few years (Not more than 5 lol), Getting married to the love of my life, buying a house & starting a family. I always liked to plan my future but slowly realized that God is the only one in control. When I first got pregnant and quickly became single after almost 5 years, I already felt like a failure. I felt as if I already ruined my sons chance of coming home to a healthy family with a house & a huge yard to play in. Slowly but surely I realized that those things weren't priorities. My main priority was making sure that my son was healthy, fully developed, had the essentials and was loved unconditionally. During the longest 9 months of my life, I grew in so many ways. Mentally, emotionally & spiritually. I became a better version of myself for my son. Even though I'm not always so strong & I break down, I try to remain positive. I remind myself that CJ is watching, observing and will eventually copy my actions. Although I'm very happy, this is not what I imagined my first Mothers day to be. I imagined sleeping in, getting breakfast in bed from my husband & child & being showered with love & tokens of appreciation. That was not my reality this morning. I woke up to CJ in a wet onesie because he slept through the night. I did get breakfast in bed, only difference was that it came from my Mom. I did get showered with love & tokens of appreciation not from my husband, but from my amazing family & friends. Although I'm a single mother, I want him to look at me and be proud that I'm his mom. I want him to understand that although I'm doing it own my own, he will never want or need anything. I want him to know that despite my future success, he will always be my greatest accomplishment. Although we don't have the "perfect" family, I will ALWAYS have your back. Although it was not the first Mother's day I imagined, it was perfect because I have you CJ. 😊🙏🏾 Being a mother is hands down the hardest yet most rewarding job in the entire world. Day in and day out we're patient, loving, kind & understanding. We're strong when all we want to do is cry & we pick up the pieces when times get rough. Happy Mother's Day To All my fellow mothers! Whether you're single, married, in a relationship, a foster mother, a grandma, a step mom or a soon-to-be mom. Including all the amazing mothers up in heaven. You are LOVED, APPRECIATED & the CENTER of our COMMUNITY.
Monday, 27 March 2017
Good Morning World!🌎🌞🌍 Today Is A Foggy Monday In #Toronto But Don't Let The Gloomy Weather Get You Down. You Woke Up This Morning & That Enough Is A Lot To Be Thankful For. The #MorningMsgFromKate I Have For Everyone Today Is To Repair The Damaged Areas In Your Life. Whether It Be Trust Issues Caused By A Loved One Or Self Confidence Issues, Today Is The Day To Start Fixing Them! Life Will Continue In A Horrible Pattern If You Don't Face Your Problems & Work On Them. Rome Wasn't Built In A Day & Your Problems Won't Disappear Overnight. You Must Be Consistent If You Want To Take Control Of Your Life Again. Here's Some Tips To Help You Out. 1. Find Inner Peace• Appreciate Alone Time. You Can Do A Lot Of Self-Reflecting When You're Alone. Write, Read, Rest. Relax For An Hour Or Two, Your Body & Mind Will Love You. 2.Eliminate Negativity• Let Go Of Everything & Everyone That Makes You Sad/Angry. Life Is Too Short To Be Anything Less Than Happy. 3. Set A Goal• Whether It Be To Lose 15 Pounds, Finish A Book Or Land Your Dream Job. When You Set A Goal, You Will Have To Discipline Yourself To Reach Them. The Same Goes For Your Interpersonal Skills. Set A Goal (E.G Work On Communication Skills Or Conflict Resolution Skills) & Consistently Work On It. 4. Improve A Relationship• Whether It Be With Your Significant Other Or Your Friend. Identify What The Problem Is, Communicate Your Feelings & Work On It. Both Parties Must Want To Fix Whatever Is Broken. If Not, Eliminate The Person Out Of Your Life. These Are Just Some Pointers From Yours Truly. 😇 I Hope Everyone Has A Great Week, God Bless❤
Wednesday, 8 March 2017
Wednesday March the 8th. International Women's Day 2017. As I sit here with my son asleep with his nursing pillow next to me, listening to Spotify's Women Of R&B Playlist, I can't help but reflect on what #IWD means to me. It has been almost a year since I found out my life would change forever. Since I became a mother I have seen life in a completely different perspective. Although I'm still a new mom, I have become more loving, more patient, more selfless & more protective. When I finally took my pregnancy test (I thought my late period was due to stress) I was scared. Scared of the results. Scared for my future. The thought of becoming a Mom at 23 was so nerve-racking. But Before We Continue, Here's Some Backstory For You Nosy People LOL: I was with CJs Father since I was 18. (3 years together, on & off for 2 years) I am now turning 24. We had plans to get married & start a family but I know firsthand that you can't trust anyone's but Gods plan for your life. We are not together which is good. The relationship was toxic on both sides & needed to end. I'm still thankful for the years together & the memories made. We have created a healthy, intelligent & handsome little boy. He is my main concern. (HAPPY? since people wanted to know. -_-) I have done a lot of self reflecting and forgiving in the past 12 months.Through my first, second & third trimester I had great support from an amazing group of women. My Mother, cousin & my girlfriends. They cheered me up when I lost my father during my last trimester, they helped me fill my crazy food cravings & they always made sure I felt beautiful. I am beyond grateful that CJ will have such loving women in his life. Although having a child doesn't make you a woman , I definitely feel as if I became a woman on November 29th 2016. Raising a little boy in this generation is hard when the media portrays males as superior. Everything I do he will be watching, learning & copying. I will be his role model when it comes to how he treats women. He will know that women are his equal & he must respect them. He will know not to overstep any boundaries and always let the woman be in control of her body. One day we won't have to fight for equal rights, equal pay & respect for women and our bodies. Until then we will continue to be great. Continue to raise families while chasing our goals. Continue to be fabulous and continue to rise. Remember, when strong women come together, magic happens. Happy International Women's Day To All Of My Strong, Intelligent & Beautiful Women Of All Nationalities & Religions Regardless of Your Sexual Orientation. The FUTURE Is FEMALE!
Thursday, 31 March 2016
Good Morning World! 🌎💕 God Has Gave You Another Day. The Morning Message I Have For Everyone Is To Truly Appreciate Those Who Invest In You. In A World Of People Who Are So Easily Influenced By The Media & Other Sources It's Hard To See Peoples True Colours. I'm An Only Child So I Always Loved & Benefited From Alone Time. BUT Everyone I Do Call My "Fam" & Share My Personal Life With, I Love & Appreciate Deeply. I Have Invested Too Much In The Past To The Wrong People & Ended Up Very Hurt In The End. This Goes For Relationships & Friendships. Analyze People In Your Life & Remove The Toxicity. Don't Go Another Day With People Who Don't Invest In You, As You Do For Them. #TimeEffortLove Have A Great Thursday Everyone 😊😘🤗 God Bless 🙏🏾💕
Monday, 24 August 2015
Gooood Morning World! : ) Mondays... Aha yes I know, the worst day in the week.. Luckily I'm off today. ;) So I decided to write a blog post!
Being The "Token" Black Girl..
(This is my story, not made to offend anyone)
From kindergarten I went to a predominantly "White" school. (Shout out to P.M.J.S :) !! ) and from a young age I was confused cause there weren't a lot of other races, like myself. So I went through stages.. For example, In middle school (Shout Out To J.G.A !!) I was referred to as "Oreo" or "White washed" by my White friends & school mates. This not only confused me but also pissed me off.. Going to high school (Shoutout to M.C.IIIII !!) I finally went to school with Black people & many other races. Which I loved! But just when I thought I could make friends of my colour.. They don't like me.. Many of my school friends told me they didn't like me at first because again I was an "Oreo".. So now I'm confused..Like damn homie.. Not black enough for the black girls but just "white washed" to the white girls.. Then came senior year & I realized who I was.. I was Caitlind. People judge me because of how I look, speak & who my friends are. I have friends from many backgrounds & I didn't build friendships based on colour.. It's based on soul & heart. So before you call someone "White/Black/Asian/Spanish washed" Think about this story.. & DON'T!! Aha This is a true story of how I felt in school &l it's not cool. Let people be whoever they want to be. Don't Judge ! Be so happy with your life you don't have to worry about others.. Life will be better for everyone! :)
Hope you enjoyed my story :D
Have a great day!
Tuesday, 24 March 2015
Good Morning World! God Has Taken The Time To Wake Every Single One Of You Today. He Has Given You Another 24 Marvellous Hours. Use Them Wisely. Thank God For Everything He Has Done For You & Accept The Things You Cannot Change. Chase Your Wildest Dreams, Tell Your Family You Love Them, Try Something New. Because Just Like The Sunrise, Things Can Change Within Seconds. Carpe Diem! Have A Great Tuesday Everyone! #WelcomeToKateLand #MorningMessage #MorningMsgFromKate