Sunday, 14 May 2017

My First Mother's Day

May 14th 2017 My first Mother's day. As I sit on my bed breastfeeding CJ, I think. I think about the past year & everything I went through to get where I am. When I was younger I always imagined dating for a few years (Not more than 5 lol), Getting married to the love of my life, buying a house & starting a family. I always liked to plan my future but slowly realized that God is the only one in control. When I first got pregnant and quickly became single after almost 5 years, I already felt like a failure. I felt as if I already ruined my sons chance of coming home to a healthy family with a house & a huge yard to play in. Slowly but surely I realized that those things weren't priorities. My main priority was making sure that my son was healthy, fully developed, had the essentials and was loved unconditionally. During the longest 9 months of my life, I grew in so many ways. Mentally, emotionally & spiritually. I became a better version of myself for my son. Even though I'm not always so strong & I break down, I try to remain positive. I remind myself that CJ is watching, observing and will eventually copy my actions. Although I'm very happy, this is not what I imagined my first Mothers day to be. I imagined sleeping in, getting breakfast in bed from my husband & child & being showered with love & tokens of appreciation. That was not my reality this morning. I woke up to CJ in a wet onesie because he slept through the night. I did get breakfast in bed, only difference was that it came from my Mom. I did get showered with love & tokens of appreciation not from my husband, but from my amazing family & friends. Although I'm a single mother, I want him to look at me and be proud that I'm his mom. I want him to understand that although I'm doing it own my own, he will never want or need anything. I want him to know that despite my future success, he will always be my greatest accomplishment. Although we don't have the "perfect" family, I will ALWAYS have your back. Although it was not the first Mother's day I imagined, it was perfect because I have you CJ. 😊🙏🏾 Being a mother is hands down the hardest yet most rewarding job in the entire world. Day in and day out we're patient, loving, kind & understanding. We're strong when all we want to do is cry & we pick up the pieces when times get rough. Happy Mother's Day To All my fellow mothers! Whether you're single, married, in a relationship, a foster mother, a grandma, a step mom or a soon-to-be mom. Including all the amazing mothers up in heaven. You are LOVED, APPRECIATED & the CENTER of our COMMUNITY.

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